How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carneige

“How to Win Friends & Influence People” Carnegie shares this story to illustrate the power of appreciation and its positive impact on people. Leon Shimkin, after reading Carnegie’s book, decided to put the principles into practice. He started implementing the principles of appreciation and sincere praise within his business. He made an effort to genuinely express his gratitude for the actions of his employees and colleagues.

One day, he encountered an employee who had made a significant mistake that could have cost the company a lot of money. Instead of reprimanding the employee, Shimkin took a different approach. He praised the employee for being honest about the mistake and promptly bringing it to his attention. Shimkin’s understanding and appreciation created a positive atmosphere within the company.

Dale Carnegie, initially known as Carnagey, was a trailblazer in corporate training programs and the creator of renowned courses focused on self-improvement, public speaking, and interpersonal skills. 

1. Show Genuine Interest in Others: Carnegie emphasizes the importance of genuine interest in others. People appreciate when you listen actively and take an interest in their lives.
2. Smile: A simple smile can have a powerful impact. It creates a positive impression and helps establish a connection with others.
3. Remember Names: Remembering and using people’s names is a crucial aspect of making them feel valued. It demonstrates respect and attentiveness.
4. Be a Good Listener: Carnegie stresses the importance of listening. Paying attention to others’ thoughts and feelings fosters better communication and relationships.
5. Talk in Terms of Other People’s Interests: Tailor your conversations to focus on topics that interest the other person. This shows that you value their preferences and opinions.
6. Avoid Criticizing, Condemning, or Complaining: Negative behavior can damage relationships. Carnegie advises against criticizing others and instead encourages a more positive and constructive approach.
7. Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation: People appreciate genuine praise. Acknowledge others’ contributions and express sincerely appreciated appreciation.
8. Talk About Your Own Mistakes Before Criticizing Others: Admitting your mistakes before pointing out others’ errors creates an atmosphere of humility and understanding.
9. Make Others Feel Important: Everyone wants to feel important. Acknowledge people’s achievements and make them feel valued in your interactions.
10. Win People to Your Way of Thinking: Rather than imposing your ideas, try to understand others’ perspectives. Find common ground and present your thoughts in a way that aligns with their interests.

Shimkin’s approach beautifully illustrates the transformative power of appreciation and genuine praise in a professional setting. By acknowledging and valuing his employee’s honesty rather than focusing solely on the mistake, Shimkin fostered a culture where people felt safe to admit errors and learn from them. This not only boosts morale but also encourages accountability and continuous improvement. It shows that effective leadership isn’t just about correcting faults but also about recognizing and reinforcing positive behaviors that contribute to a supportive and productive work environment.

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A multi-award-winning blogger and advocate for OFWs and investment literacy; recipient of the Mass Media Advocacy Award, Philippine Expat Blog Award, and Most Outstanding Balikbayan Award. Her first book, The Global Filipino Bloggers OFW Edition, was launched at the Philippine Embassy in Kuwait. A certified Registered Financial Planner of the Philippines specializing in the Stock Market. A recognized author of the National Book Development Board of the Philippines. Co-founder of Teachers Specialist Organization in Kuwait (TSOK) and Filipino Bloggers in Kuwait (FBK). An international member of writing and poetry. Published more than 10 books.  Read more: About DiaryNiGracia