OFW STORY: Am I, a bad Mother?

Based on a true-to-life story.

Am I, a bad Mother?

Masama ba akong Ina?

Masama ba akon Ina kung hindi ko nakasama ang aking anak at nagpalaki,

 

Masama ba akong Ina kung ako ay nanirahan na dito sa ibang bansa

Masama ba akong Ina kung ako ay wala sa iyong tabi hanggang sa ikaw ay magbinata at maging dalaga.

Masama ba akong ina kung ikaw grumadyet na wala ako sa iyong tabi.

Maaring isa sa mga tanong na ito ang iyong nadinig na habang ikaw ay nasa malayo o nasa ibang bansa.

Lahat tayo ay may iisang ninais para sa ating anak, sa ating pamilya, ang makaahon at mabigyan sila ng magandang kinabukasan.

Walang inang nag nanais ng hindi maganda at naghangad sa buhay ng ikakapahamak.

Lahat gagawin natin para sa kanila, lalong para sa ating anak.

Lahat tayo ay nangangarap.

 

Beginning a story like this may be one of the most challenging things I’ve ever had to do to write and share the reality of OFW Moms in other country. Maraming kwento na ang akala ng iba, nagpapakasarap lamang mabuhay sa ibang bansa, at ganun na lamang kalaki din ang kinikita. HIndi alam pa rin ng iba,kung gaano mo dapat tumbasan ang kitaan sa ibang bansa. Hindi pa din alam ng nakararami na ito ay masasabing ‘Isang choice, ‘ isang napakahirap na choice para sa ating mga magulang, bilang isang ina.

There’s simply too many emotions to be sorted to be shouted out into one introductory sentence;  gratitude, admiration, even love and forgiveness. 

We  are the woman that has brought child in this world. Hindi lamang natin sila para isilang ngunit para din sila ay palakihin at buhayin, magkaroon ng maayos at magandang buhay.

 

“To the world, you might just be another person, but to one person you might just be the world.’ Just receiving the words ‘Happy Mother’s Day’, being so far away makes one burst into tears. We are not probably that we are a sentimental but with the passing of the years we have now lived almost many years away from our family and we don’t know what the future holds for us. Maybe I will spend many more years away from our loved ones.

 

The thought breaks many overseas Filipino working moms’ and dads’ hearts, and the tears have started to roll on every occasion we had. Our loved ones are the special reasons why we are here in abroad, trying and working hard, minsan dahil sa sobrang pagmamahal natin, kahit hindi na kaya ay kinakaya natin, kaya “Hero” na kung bansagan, Bayani sa ibang salita. Walang imposible sa ating mga magulang. May solusyon sa bawat problema, kahit malayo tayo sa kanila, may sagot sa bawat tanong kahit magkaiba -iba pa ang oras. Walang imposible.

I heard a lot of stories of being a mum here abroad, minsan may light yet incredible experience, iba naman such as a breaking story.

I met Lisa, an OFW half of her life was spent here as an OFW too, from a toddler of her 3 children she is already here working in Salon. “Mahirap habulin oras nila at 5 hours ang difference, at may iba iba na din silang priority sa buhay. 1 college at 1 highschool. Sa aking Nanay ko lamang sila naiwan at sa aking mga kapatid, matagal na akong hiwalay sa aking asawa at sumakabilang bahay na, hinayaan ko na lamang, hinayaan ko na ang sa akin ay nawa ay makapag tapos ang aking mga anak ng matiwasay.” She said. Almost mag 21 years na dito si kabayan LIsa, but still she is here, just to let these children grow and have a good life in future. Isa na lamang ang tanging hiling niya na bigyan siya ng lakas para makauwi siya at 7 years na siyang hindi nakakauwi, o nakakabasyon, At ninanais nitong makasama mga anak niya, ngunit dahil din sa hirap pa siya makaipon dahil pinapadala niya lahat ng pera niya para sa mga bata at magulang din niya. May edad na si kabayan at nasa 50 na ito. May dinaramdam at nag ma maintenance ng gamot na. May konting ipon pero hindi sapat para mag for good. Tanging SSS lamang pinanghahawakan. Mabuti na din at may sariling bahay. Ngunit sa bandang huli ay may tanong sa puso niya “Masama ba akong magulang,” Most of us take our mothers for granted.

They work hard, some are juggling different jobs to put all their hard-earned money into our loved ones. Maraming hindi nakaalam na nasa ibang bansa tayo, dahil sa pagmamahal natin sa pamilya, nasa ibang kamay man sila ngayon, alam nating dumadaan din pareho sa pag subok, ngunit ang pang unawa sa pamilya, sa isang OFW na ka – pamilya natin, ay dapat lalong umigting. Mamayani, umapaw, mag alab.

Maraming ganitong similar story ngunit ilan lamang ito sa mga nakakalungkot na pagsalaysay ng buhay ni kabayan.

 

Mother of 1, 2, 3,

or more children

Mother of a sickly child

Mother of difficult behavior child

Mother of problematic child

Mother of a suicidal child

Mother of dying child.

OFW Mother

Stay-at-Home Mom

Working at home Mom

 

We are the guiding force of the family and the ones that glue us all together most of the time. Let us be positive and not judge other mothers or parenting. We have all our stories to tell and yours will always be defined one day Silent moments of moms don’t means that they are losing a battle but they chose the battle carefully.

Our love always flows wherever and whatever situation we have. We may have a difficult situation at present, we are far from our dearest, but we keep on juggling different cycles of life and weaves to keep everyone connected. We wish lived next door to pop in for brunch and hear all the family updates.

I know each eye would light up when we are on Skype or Messenger but here, we are waiting for the greetings and vacation time.

For all of you lucky enough to be with your mother on Mother’s Day, look after her, cherish her, and remember all the little sacrifices our nanay, mama, and mommy have made for us throughout the years.

 

 

I am wishing all OFW moms, dads, and those that work abroad for their loved ones every day Mother’s Day.

 

 

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