Entry No. 4 Jeny Gangan

Me and my Diary Contest!

In celebration of ”My Serendipitous Day”

1. Describe your diary
A BLAST FROM THE PAST

I made my very first diary when I was in grade three. But after my ‘wicked older sisters,’ (they can be like that sometimes!) have stolen and feasted on its entire content, and teased me profusely about my first crush; I BURNED THE SECRET BOOK. After almost eight years, during one of my volunteer activities in college, another sinister event occurred. I accidentally left my new journal in an office. My superior’s office; is a perfect place indeed! I had blossoming feelings with him- my very first love! And the content of that bloody @&*#@%@ diary is almost entirely about my unrequited love! Plus, (yes, to magnify my stupidity, you may continue reading) there were pictures of ‘him’ inserted in that notebook! Heavens to Betsy! I never saw that diary again, and will forever deny that it’s mine. So here I am, the BRAVE ONE, still writing my thoughts=)

I’M A SURVIVOR
That would be the theme song of my surviving, current diary. It’s a simple store-bought, thick, hardbound notebook, which I have wrapped with a girly cover. In its interior, just opposite the cover, I glued a small calendar dated 2006, the year it was bought. Though already worn out it has been with me for five years now, there are still spare pages where I can write.
It has four partitions intended for (1) my volunteer work (2) my pencil sketches (3) recipes, verses, quotes, jokes, etc (4) my scribbles: poems and journal entries.
Inside is a collage of emotions, chronicled in different angles and ages. Frankly, it’s a little bit messy. It has fragments of my experiences, dreams, frustrations, imaginations, and all in between; me as a child, daughter, sister, student, lady, friend, dreamer, writer, lover, everything that’s me; almost capturing my very soul.

2. What is your ideal design for your diary?
I don’t fancy ‘bells and whistles’ and complicated things. So for an ideal design of a diary, these are my essentials: (1)should be medium-sized and light-weight (2) lots of pages to write on; would prefer paper with lines for notes, and some blank ones for sketches (3) a pen/pencil holder on the side, ready whenever a billion- dollar- idea strikes (4) having at least three partitions (5) calendar (6) post-it or any sticker; just to accessorize and highlight important information, (7) some pockets to insert memorable items like a photo, letter or leaf, and lastly (8) should have a protective cover.

3. How does your diary help you?
I’m much of a bookworm than a writer. Whenever I read inspiring, moving, hilarious, or anything that extremely captures my attention, I write it down. Then with these found jewels, I get inspired to create striking one-liners, poems, and phrases. My diary is my stockroom, my treasure chest! I draw ideas and surprises from it. You have no idea how much it saved and helped me in creating articles I never thought I could make! And in my relationships; whenever a friend needs inspiration, loving words, or even just a good laugh to survive a day; miraculously, there’s always something up my diary’s sleeves!

It’s my art gallery. I love pencil sketches. I do it for fun, to buy time, to release stress, and to capture moments. I also use it to communicate. After every drawing, I would let my mom or my sisters see it. They would either laugh hysterically or compliment my magnum opus; but most of the time they cackle, LOL. Just making my mom laugh is already a surreal achievement for me. She cries when she’s too happy=)

It’s my instant time machine. Whenever I needed a hearty laugh, I would just marvel at my sketches! When I miss my dear frisky nephew, I would just reread the poem I wrote for him, edit it, reread, and edit it again. Here, I can relive the memories of a lost love; his text messages that I have written verbatim, the moment I saw him again, our last encounter, and my poem for him on his deathbed. Some memories are heartbreaking, some triumphant, and I get to relive them all.

It’s my mirror, a friend. I became a stay-in volunteer worker in a religious nonprofit organization for almost four to five years. Though this vocation is very gratifying to the soul and I get to meet lots of wonderful people; I missed my family terribly. Thank God I had an outlet- writing. It was so hard to be away from your family, physically and mentally, especially when you’re sick. I really can’t imagine how I was able to survive those years!

Years passed,I was able to go home became a tutor, and continued volunteering. Severe depression took its toll on me- when I was battling Pneumonia, when our family almost collapsed, and recently, another blow: the death of a very close friend. These maelstroms almost knocked me down; I became detached from my friends. With lots of prayers, I just poured my heart out into writing and sketching and busying myself with work. I had to be strong for my family; I needed to stay positive. With God’s grace, I still have my mom and my sisters, now I’m a Pneumonia survivor surrounded by genuine people who never left my side. Whenever I write, I get to know myself more deeply. It calms my soul. I get to love, console, make peace, and help myself grow. It’s talking to the INNER MAN as the Bible would explain it. Science even favors this discipline. Scientists have found out that talking to yourself is good for you. Dr. Glenn Williams, lead researcher at Nottingham Trent University, likens talking to oneself to keeping a diary, a positive way of reflecting on one’s life (Reader’s Digest, November 2008, page 140). Keeping a diary is never a waste of time; it’s an opportunity to see before your very eyes the chronicles of your life’s journey. And you get to love more the people who truly know your story: the ones who helped you write it.

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A multi-award-winning blogger and advocate for OFWs and investment literacy; recipient of the Mass Media Advocacy Award, Philippine Expat Blog Award, and Most Outstanding Balikbayan Award. Her first book, The Global Filipino Bloggers OFW Edition, was launched at the Philippine Embassy in Kuwait. A certified Registered Financial Planner of the Philippines specializing in the Stock Market. A recognized author of the National Book Development Board of the Philippines. Co-founder of Teachers Specialist Organization in Kuwait (TSOK) and Filipino Bloggers in Kuwait (FBK). An international member of writing and poetry. Published more than 10 books.  Read more: About DiaryNiGracia

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